Are YOU in an Unhealthy Relationship?

You may be in an unhealthy relationship if your current boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse or partner:

  • Is overly critical of you
  • Abuses pets
  • Takes your money
  • Pressures you to engage in violent, degrading, or non-consensual sexual acts
  • Ignores your feelings often
  • Throws objects at you
  • Looks at you in scary ways
  • Touches you in any unwelcomed way (violently or otherwise)
  • Insults you or disrespects you
  • Makes all—or most--of the decisions
  • Withholds approval or affection as punishment
  • Minimizes or dismisses your beliefs or religion
  • Behaves in very jealous ways or is overly untrusting of you
  • Lies to you and/or tries to manipulate you
  • Harms your property
  • Insists that you dress a certain way
  • Threatens you or shouts at you
  • Drives recklessly while you are present
  • Behaves in ways that push your friends or family away from you
  • Pressures you to distance yourself from your loved ones
  • Takes car keys or money away
  • Threatens to commit suicide if you leave

Some of the above can be healthy behaviors, some are never healthy.  If any one of the above is true of your relationship, you would benefit from seeing a therapist to discuss it. If more than a few are true for your relationship, the importance of seeing a therapist is very high.

Created by Alan Goodwin, Ph.D., for California Lutheran University.