Wellness Programs

Signs of a Healthy Relationship


    What is a "Healthy" Relationship?
    Typically, it's when two people develop a connection based on:

    * Mutual Respect          *Honesty       *Good Communication *Trust              
    *Fairness/Equality  *A sense of playfulness *Support


    Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
    Signs of a Healthy Relationship
    • Putting one person before the other by neglecting yourself or your partner.
    • Feeling pressured to change who you are for the other person.
    • Feeling overly worried when you disagree with the other person.
    • Feeling pressured to quit activities you usually/used to enjoy.
    • You or your partner refuse to use safer sex methods even if one person feels as though it's important.
    • Noticing that arguments are not settled fairly.
    • Experiencing psychological or physical violence during an argument.
    • Attempting to control or manipulate each other.
    • Noticing your partner attempts to control how you dress and criticizes your behaviors.
    • Not making time to spend with one another.
    • Having no common friends, or having a lack of respect for each others’ friends and family.
    • Noticing an unequal control of resources (food, money, home, car, etc.).
    • Experiencing a lack of fairness and equality.
    • Pressuring the other person into agreeing with you or changing to suit you better.
    • Noticing one of you has to justify your actions (e.g. where you go, who you see).
    • Noticing one partner feels obligated to have sex or has been forced to do so.
    • Having a lack of privacy, and may be forced to share everything with the other person.
    • Taking care of yourself and having good self-esteem independent of your relationship.
    • Maintaining and respecting each other's individuality.
    • Maintaining relationships with friends and family.
    • Having activities apart from one another.
    • Having the ability to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences.
    • Having the ability to feel secure and comfortable.
    • Allowing and encouraging other friendships.
    • Taking interest in one another’s activities.
    • Not worrying about violence in the relationship.
    • Trusting each other and being honest with each other.
    • Having the option of privacy.
    • Having respect for sexual boundaries.
    • Being honest about sexual activity if it is a sexual relationship.
    • Accepting influence. Relationships are give and take; allowing your partner to influence you is important; this can be especially difficult for some men.
    • Resolving conflict fairly: Fighting is part of even healthy relationships, the difference is how the conflict is handled.


    If you are experiencing any of the following signs of an UNHEALTHY relationship and you want to get help, please schedule an appointment with Counseling Services. To make an appointment, call their office at (805) 493-3390. For more information, visit www.clunet.edu/counseling. You can also find someone who is Safe Zone Certified to talk to. These allies are individuals who are willing to provide a safe haven, a listening ear, and support for students from an underrepresented group.