I'll Fidget if I Want To
John Carlson
I'll fidget if I want to
While the incessant tick, tick, tick,
And the endless kaleidoscopic thought-
The random precision
Of intermittent decision-
So mellifluous onward flows.
I'm restless,
So pardon my appendages,
Once so listless, lifeless
Now in agitation dance.
Ah, how wonderful once was romance
Every breathing, thinking moment did enhance.
Now, two petals in the turning tide
Drifting drearily apart
No homage is left to the bleeding heart
Picking at the bones of death and destruction,
And searching, searching, searching
While trying to be the beacon.
Strangling time
On the end of a cigarette
And the bottom of a glass.
I can give you music.
I'll give you dance.
I'll give you thoughts
On the cold hard memories
Of an elusive lass
Lost,
Or at least gone.
Dying question on the end of a thought
Must it go on?
Thinking dark caverns I'm praying
Will someday be heard.
Writing verse for more than the sake of the word.
Pacing the stairs.
Waving the arms.
Hoping for prayers
To be answered.
And casting vagrant dreams
Into the whir/wind
Where they twist and turn,
Contort and,
Changing, changing, changing,
Driving.. .
Someday I'll learn.
But for now
I'll fidget if I want to.
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